Twenty Eight

May 12, 2019

Still a yay, of course. 
I survived 27th! Heck of a ride. So many "It scares the shit out of me but I'll do it anyway" moments. And heartbreaks of all sorts. That year was tough. But hey, it makes me even tougher (you better be, grrrl).

So to celebrate before the birth month endsI went on a trip. I made sure to have a taste of both nature and city. Actually, that's the only thing that's planned. The rest was "meh, I'll just wing it". No itinerary, as always. But this was probably the slowest (and least pressured) trip that I had. 

"Oh, I missed the bus? I'll just take the next one." 
And then I waited for 3 more hours. Ha! ha!
 "I dunno what my next activity is" 
"Okay, i'll just catch the last full show".

It was fun, though.

Just in case you wanna see, here are the scenes:


28.
 the start of the 5th cycle. 

You know how they say life comes in 7-year cycles. I'd like to believe it. Lemme do a quick recap. 
From my 21-year old self, what has happened? 
Graduated from architecture school, had 3 jobs, started travelling alone- a dream since I was ten. I moved to a city and currently in a different country.
 Those happenings in between that tested my limits. I cannot imagine how I've been through all those craziness. 

What now? Where do I go from here?

I've read this article on how millennials are so obsessed with "new beginnings". I think it's not just millennials, it's for human in general. We wanted closure from the things we think did not work out and we wanted to have an opportunity to reset. It gives us the feeling of a clean slate. But does that really happen? Like being a brand new shiny entity? Maybe for some. But I like to keep myself this way. A once worn out piece that's still functional and would be valuable eventually.

I keep these 3 in mind as I go along in this, uhm life? 

1. There's this thin line between genuinely wanting to have new experiences and wanting to escape. That need might not be sustainable in the long run. Read: time, money & energy. If we really wanted new experiences, perhaps try to look at familiar things with a different lens, with an open mind.  I'll reiterate it, mind is powerful. It shapes our behavior that affects our decisions. Majority of our decisions makes up who we are. 

2. Everything is ephemeral. (Even the misery that these oppressors are bringing, so we need to do something about it.- oh wait, that's for a separate post.) What you have right now, value it. Whether it's happiness or pain, you'll be able to use it at some point. 

3. It's okay to be human. And by human, I mean, to feel and to not know everything. Quoting Janet from "The Good Place":"The more human I become, the less things make sense. But that's part of the fun, right?" 

And instead for wishing for a result, I'll wish for virtues that wil help me get through the process. 

Wisdom. 
To make sound choices.
Resilience.
 To bounce back if the choices being made did not work out.
Balance. 
To keep other facets intact when the others are not in good condition.

Oh, and another one, Pivot.
Learned this term from a podcast. It says that learning to pivot is having an open mind to changing paths but with an opening mind but still focus on the long term goals. Like making the best out of the cards you're being dealt with.

I have no idea what I will encounter for this next phase.
 Just like what I did with the latest trip,
 i'll just wing it. 

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