Disoriented

October 18, 2020


Woke up before 7 am this morning. 
"The sun is up, might be a good day for a walk at the city", She said. 
Headed to CBD only to be greeted by this. The weather literally said, "Nope. You wish!"

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4th quarter!

Are you as disoriented as I am? Is the year moving too slow or too fast? 
Probably both, depending on where you are looking at. 
Imagine us being inside in a glass globe and everything around you is moving with twice the
 speed as you are currently taking. That is exactly what's happening to us. We are locked down in our homes/city/country (well, depending on how good your leaders are in flattening the curve). Big plans are put on-hold, thus the feeling of personal progress are at its lowest. On the other hand, moving at the same timeline (Are we on the darkest timeline? Can someone roll that dice again, please!), things are escalating quickly. Everyday, the news are flocked with new issues from anywhere in the world. Looking through the black mirror is really overwhelming. Part of you wants to look away for your own sanity but the other half is telling you to keep track, to not be apathetic. Having the right amount of information is a struggle nowadays. 


So, how are you?

Now, that's a tough question. Honestly, I am not in the right headspace this couple of weeks/months? I dunno, girl, it feels like a wave. I am trying to feed my need to progress by learning bunch of stuff. Last  month, I just finished my 10-week online course on Public Policy Economics. Now, I am trying to learn German. Was habe mich selber in bekommen? (What have I gotten myself into?) I am not so sure of the translation.. Anyway..  As I was saying, I just have to move like I am at the same pace as the world, to feel less disoriented. 

But there are moments when I keep reminding myself  that it is okay to slack off.. To sleep all day.. To watch You-choob videos all day.. we are in the middle of a pandemic, for fork's sake. 

So it is okay not to be okay  (whoops, is it a Netflix series title?)

It really is difficult to find the right balance.  But let's just do whatever keeps us sane.  Let's survive together.  I accepted that it might take years before things go back to ~normal~. But I still wanna wish that when the clock strikes at 12 of December 31st, the pandemic is over.

Hey, a kid can dream.. 
This is how I keep my sanity.

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